FREEHOLD - PART 3

        As we roll down I-276, my Blackberry blows up!  It's "her" number flashing.  J. T. Bumblebee screams, "man you've bought it now"!  I look for a place to stop. There's a 7-Eleven up ahead; I pull my Grandmother's 78 Pinto into an open space as the Blackberry continues to play: "The Rolling Stones - Waiting on a Friend". 

The brakes grind us to a halt just 3 ft. from the cement stopper.  I answer my phone and hear the voice of she who must be obeyed.  "Hello", I said.  She responds "who the f*%k do you think you are"? 
"You've seen more balls fall out of a shopping cart then anybody I know!" said my wife.  Those are the first words I heard in that crazy voice that I know so well!  "Hey Han, do we need to take off your Depends", yells K. C.  I look back with a kill stare reserved only for her, now it's for him; my best friend. 

Then J. T. Bumblebee chimes in " Hey if you need to wipe your tears, I'll take off my pants, "HA !HA! HA! HA!" What a band of jokers, I  think to myself ,as I roll my eyes.  Finally I explode and tell all the idiots to get out of the f*%king car and go get some chips, ice, or go drain the lizards.  As they exit the car, I hear her voice again. 

She's screaming in my ear, "How could you? We don't have $400 for you to blow on your wrestling and your dumb ass buddies!  It's Friday night!  I warned you the last time you did this, you would pay if you ever did it again.  Me and your buddies girlfriends are going out tonight and were gonna have a real good time. 
"What the f*%k does that supposed to mean"? I scream in the phone.  She coyly replies "that means my good black stockings and my 6" red pumps"! Click goes the phone...

I literally shake in the car from anger, the Blackberry goes silent and dark.  As I look up, I see the three stooges with Icee's in their hands, smiling like lemmings, sauntering to the car.  K. C. says "is mama angry at you"?  I just glare, and then Corman chimes in "everything belongs to the Gods, and wise men are friends of the Gods.  All things are common among friends; therefore everything belongs to wise men".  Bumblebee just yells "is he for real?"


To be continued.......