Content

Showing posts with label Crossroads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crossroads. Show all posts

March 16, 2011 - Rangers 6 Islanders 3 John 0

0 comments
Spring is definitely in the air today. After a dreary and rainy start to the day, the clouds broke sometime this afternoon and the temperatures went up. It feels good, especially with the longer days, even though you wouldn’t guess it from my entries today…

Rangers 6 Islanders 3 John 0



I feel terrible right now. A short while ago my mom called to say hi and see how I was doing and I kind of blew up at her. Well, not kind of, I did blow up at her. For this one, I have to go back to Christmas time. You see, every year my Christmas gift to my family is that I buy everyone a ticket to a NY Rangers hockey game. My whole family is very big into the Rangers, including me, and they look forward to it every year.

Without saying too much and getting myself into unnecessary trouble, I decided to buy one less ticket this year for someone who’s on the fringes of the family. Though I’ve bought a ticket for this person every year, I decided to forego it this year for financial and other reasons. When my plan was found out, I was talked into changing who was getting the tickets a couple of times until I ended up being the only one without a ticket. At the time I had just been dumped by you know who and I didn’t give a crap, really. The game was last night, March 15th.

The tickets were extra special this year because it was for a Ranger/Islander game at the Garden, which we’ve all always wanted to see. The whole thing hasn’t bothered me all this time, until yesterday. It was on my mind on and off all day yesterday. My sister kept posting notices on FB saying how excited she was about the game. She even thanked me publicly for it, which only made me more perturbed. Secretly, I kept an eye on the game via the Internet, hoping for a Ranger loss (Ranger Gods forgive me!), but they won the game 6-3, a high scoring, probably exciting game.

So mom called tonight to see how I was doing and to say how much they missed me last night. I don’t know what came over me, but that was when I suddenly exploded at her. She had a big part in the changing of the tickets in the first place, and I reminded her of all of it. I wasn’t expecting to blow up, but her call just brought it out of me. In fact, I purposely avoided calling her because of it.

I apologized to her as I yelled every other sentence, and she actually didn’t get angry at me. She said she understood, probably as she should have. It’s my own fault anyway…I relented, which I didn’t have to. Like I said in my interview with Pattie the other night, I’m too kind oftentimes to my own detriment. I just don’t know any other way and I can’t help but hate people sometimes who don’t always take kindly to kindness. WTF????

The Quest returns to my head

The weather was so nice today that I decided to take advantage and be outside. I got a head start and worked in my yard, which has plenty of trees and thus plenty of leaves. Off I was with my rake, some leaf bags, and of course my iPod and Beyonce. It felt good to be out there, though working in the yard brought me back to my decision. Should I even bother with the yard? Historically this has always been one of my favorite times of the year and I love working in the gardens. But should I be spending any money on any part of the house, especially if I’m going to end up short-selling it? The whole thing led to more trepidation and worry.

It’s almost the end of March and little has been happening for me in my quest. I know that I’ve switched priorities and that job search is #1, but of course with my luck schools seem to be laying teachers off instead of hiring them, at least for now it seems. So that’s pretty much a dead end at this point, though I keep looking.

And then there’s the house. A move into the city or not, I’ve got to find a way out of it, but how? My mortgage payment is absolutely killing me, and the fact that I am paying it has actually been a detriment to me because I’m not in trouble on paper…yet! I can see it coming, though. I heard someone say yesterday that there are only 12 weeks of school left and I’m in a shitload of trouble if I don’t do something quick. What to do, what to do????

Facebook Surprise

Most of the time I don’t even notice it, but every once in awhile I check out the “suggested friends” link at the top of my Facebook page. Just a little while ago, I glanced up at that section of the page and I saw his face up there. I’m talking about Fuzzy, the stalker. Incredible! Thank goodness, two clicks of the mouse and he’s a blocked man!

Well, I guess from these snippets of my day that you’d say I had a bad one. I really didn’t. Yeah, I’m still quite messed up over a lot of things, but the weather today helped a lot and I have a conference day tomorrow, so I get to sleep later and come home earlier, so I’m really not in that bad of a way, hehe. But just to make me feel a little better, I’m gonna add a video of Cee Lo’s “Fuck You” here and dedicate it to all those people who’ve pissed me off lately. I mean no harm by it, just a little venting to make myself feel better! Now sing a long…

“See you’re driving round town with the girl I love, and I’m like, F**k you…”

Read more »

Crossroads, Part 7 - A Shift in Focus

0 comments


Well it's been a couple of weeks since I've updated this series. Though other matters have been keeping me busy lately, my decision to move from my house still lingers. Since my last piece, circumstances in my life have proven to me that not only is this decision one that I want, but it's become ever the more obvious that it's one that I need.

Read on here...
Read more »

Crossroads, Part 6: New Considerations

0 comments
Every once in awhile, life just gets intense! Right now there have been so many things going on all around me that it seems a bad time to be adding this decision into the mix. I realize that these decisions I find myself faced with are of my own choosing, and that nothing worthwhile comes easy, but I feel it's an important enough move not to let it go. That said, I've come to a point where decisions need to be faced...reality starts to set in, and the clock is ticking.

Read more here...
Read more »

Crossroads, Part 4: Justifying My Decision

0 comments
Yesterday was Christmas. I had my family over for dinner, along with my good friend Blanche. This Christmas was one I'd like to soon forget, for many reasons. It's been really hard for me to get into the spirit this year and a Christmas Eve breakup just quashed any hopes of really enjoying it.

Although I'd been downhearted going into Christmas Day dinner, I'm glad that I went through with it. Having loved ones around me and keeping busy was the perfect remedy for taking my mind off of things, but not entirely. Through wallowing in the sorrow of my breakup, I'd momentarily forgotten about the other big issue in my life: the decision, but during our after-dinner conversation, the subject came up and I suddenly found myself justifying it all over again.

Read on here.
Read more »

Crossroads, Part 5: Words to Live By

0 comments

"Nothing worthwhile is easy, but if you never take the chance, you'll never know what you might be missing."

Every once in awhile I come up with a quote that I feel strongly about. A little over a month ago I placed these words as a status on my Facebook profile and I feel as strongly about them today as I did back then. When I first put that up, I was referring to a relationship I had been in for several weeks, one that ended recently. A good friend of mine made a comment on that quote, simply saying "words to live by." Though at the time I wasn't thinking of the bigger picture, I realize today that they've always been words I've lived by and I need to be reminded of that every once in awhile.

Read on here.
Read more »

Crossroads, Part 4: Justifying My Decision

0 comments

Yesterday was Christmas. I had my family over for dinner, along with my good friend Blanche. This Christmas was one I'd like to soon forget, for many reasons. It's been really hard for me to get into the spirit this year and a Christmas Eve breakup just quashed any hopes of really enjoying it.

Although I'd been downhearted going into Christmas Day dinner, I'm glad that I went through with it. Having loved ones around me and keeping busy was the perfect remedy for taking my mind off of things, but not entirely. Through wallowing in the sorrow of my breakup, I'd momentarily forgotten about the other big issue in my life: the decision, but during our after-dinner conversation, the subject came up and I suddenly found myself justifying it all over again.

Read on here.
Read more »

Crossroads, Part 3: First Step - The Short Sale Option

0 comments

Today I took the first step in my newest journey. I called a real estate agent last week to come and take a look at my house and give me her expertise. I entered the meeting expecting bad news and ended up being presented with even grimmer choices than I had envisioned.

Read on here.
Read more »

Crossroads, Part 2: The Decision

0 comments

Not too long ago, I published a piece about coming to a new crossroads in my life. I've faced myself with making the decision on whether or not to give up my house on Long Island and move to New York City, something I've always wanted to do. I've always wanted to do, but never had the opportunity...until now. Having given myself until year's end to come to a decision, I can say now with certainty that I'm going to go for it.

Read on here.
Read more »

Crossroads: Striving for a Change or Settling for Status Quo?

0 comments

For the second time in my life, I’m at a crossroads. Some tell me I’m having a mid-life crisis, but I know myself better than that. All my life I’ve always strived to make it better than it is, never completely satisfied with my lot. It was ten years ago that I made a big change in my life, leaving an unfulfilling fifteen year career in banking to go back to school and become a teacher. I don’t regret a thing about that decision...

Read on here.
Read more »
My Ping in TotalPing.com My Zimbio