Forget werewolves and vampires. With markets melting and 401(k)s dwindling, people are much more afraid of going broke. This Halloween, give revelers a real shot of terror with a costume that reflects the tough times.

1. AIG Executive

You'll need a fluffy robe and a respectable manicure.

Accessories:

--Spa slippers
--Clay facial mask
--Fluffy slippers
--AIG "Hi My Name Is..." sticker badge

2. Cowboy Capitalism

Dress up in a business suit but with a cowboy hat and boots. Sport a black eye.

Accessories:

--Adult beverage in a brown bag

3. Dow Jones Industrial Average

Paint a large piece of cardboard with a downward plunging arrow and write "DJIA" across your chest.

Accessories:

--A teddy bear
--A case of the shakes

4. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac

A guy and a gal dress up as drunken sailors in the style of Raggedy Ann and Andy.

Accessories:

--Bottles of booze
--Toy houses

5. Financial Bailout

Gear up in red and gold as the Hammer and Sickle Superhero. You'll need: a headband, tights and a cape.

Accessories:

--A bucket labeled $700 billion and stuffed with cash.

6. Golden Parachute

Put on a jumpsuit (preferably gold). Then spray-paint a trash bag gold and attach parachute strings.

Accessories:

--Affix giant dollar sign to chest
--Safety goggles or golden superhero mask, depending on taste
--Play money tucked into belt and pockets.

7. Lehman CEO Dick Fuld

Climb into your Skeletor costume. Put on a golden parachute.

Accessories:

--"Blame the Shorts" button
--Golden handcuffs

8. Mortgage-Backed Security

Strap a small, plastic child's play house on your back.

Accessories:

--Wrap two bike chains across your chest
--Makeup to turn face black and blue

9. Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson

Get a sharp looking suit, bald cap, rimless spectacles.

Accessories:

--Toy bazooka

--Assistant Secretary Neel Kashkari "mini me" doll.

10. Underwater Mortgage

Make a diorama of a house with a hole in the bottom for your head. Paint fish and furniture floating in the windows. Wear a snorkel and diving mask

Accessories:

--Life preserver labeled "foreclosure relief plan"

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Bat Child - All Grown Up : Remember that hilarious old cover of the Weekly World News? Well this creative fellow turned it into a Halloween costume.

You Tube Video - With Penis Transplant : Clever idea, but not the best subject matter. Of course he will be knocking over everything and bumping into everyone, but what makes this so embarrassing is the the “Related Videos” to the right: The World’s First Penile Transplant?

Maternity Room : Ah, the miracle of birth.

Creepy Bert & Ernie : Dressing up as gay Muppets. What else do I need to say? Well, I will add they are creepy too; almost like Joker from Batman rejects. And the rubber ducky isn’t helping.

Retired Hooter Girls : I can only pray that those sagging boobs are prosthetics.

Elvis with Camel Toe : Of course I’m assuming this is a costume and not the real Elvis. Although I think the real Elvis could someone avoid showing a camel toe. Thank you, thank you, very much!

Free Mammogram Test - Feminist Look Away : Wow, I’m surprised the guy doesn’t have two black eyes, and no, not for the reason you think. I wonder if he has a girlfriend or wife. Not after that costume.

Sheep Molester : No words to say ... Priceless !

Spider-man - Nice Package : Okay at first glance you think, not bad for an older overweight guy. Then you take a second glance and think, “Dear God, make me blind!” If you don’t see it, move on and let it go.


Hot Dog with an Afro? : You tell yourself that as a human race that we have evolved, matured, if you will. And then you see a man dressed as a 6-foot vagina. Or a messed up hot dog with an afro.

In Short : Okay, I’ll admit some of these costumes caused me to chuckle but I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing any of these in public or in private, for that matter. I give full credit to the brave people who could put pride aside and wear any of these embarrassing Halloween costumes for the enjoyment of others on Halloween.

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