I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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