I guess I’ve been experiencing one of those down times lately and there’s not really one thing I can point to to say what exactly it is that’s making me feel this way. It’s probably just a combination of things that have put me once again in a bad place and I just hope that once the school year is over I can get back to where I had been going…up!
Arnoldo
I visited Arnoldo in the hospital again today and things have not really gotten any better. Ever since I saw him last Thursday, I can’t seem to get him off of my mind and today’s visit definitely won’t help matters any. When I got to the hospital, I met Jill, his fiancée, by the elevators and rode up with her. She updated me on his condition and had nothing really good to say.
Poor thing, she is so tired! As I said in my earlier post, she’s Arnoldo’s angel, totally devoted to comforting him and expending her own energy to do so. She told me about another young girl who is on Arnoldo’s floor that graduated a year after him from the same school, my school. The girl is suffering from the same type of lupus that Arnoldo has and Jill says she’s alone most of the time, with few visitors.
The girl stopped in to say hi, and she brought some magazines and DVD’s for Arnoldo to keep himself from being too bored. I recognized her from school, though I never really knew her. What a sweet kid! Now she’s another person I need to pray for…so sad!
Anyway, Arnoldo was getting a procedure done when I got to his room, so he wasn’t even there. Within about 15 minutes or so, they wheeled him in and he simply looked terrible, both from whatever’s ailing him and his obvious tiredness at being in the hospital for so long. On Friday, he will have been there exactly four weeks. That’s way too long for anybody, especially a 24 year old.
All I can say at this point is that I will keep hoping and praying that somehow he pulls through this. If you’re reading this and whether or not you know Arnoldo, please join me in keeping him in your thoughts and prayers!
Guys stink!
Without getting into too much, I’m really starting to get sick of guys again, already. In the past three days alone, I’ve had no less than three guys just get all weird on me and shoot off into the sunset. Now I’m no slouch…I’m not looking for a serious relationship and God knows that won’t come for awhile, but I wouldn’t mind having someone to just hang around a little bit, who doesn’t want all or nothing.
I’m finding out all too fast that most men stink. Either they want you for just sex, a little too much love too fast, or they’re just plain fickle. I finally made a date with that guy I met on Fire Island Memorial Day Weekend for coffee on Sunday afternoon. Now, our connection had been tenuous at best since that night, and by Saturday I had kind of forgotten about him. That afternoon, however, he shot me a text and we chatted for awhile, agreeing to meet the next day for a cup of coffee.
The encounter was just about as uncomfortable as it could get. I could sense immediately that he wasn’t interested the moment we met out in front of Starbucks. He was friendly enough, but he spent at least half the time looking around at the people around us, distracted from our conversation. I knew there was nothing there, even on my part, yet the uncomfortable conversation and awkward goodbye made me wish I hadn’t even agreed to the meeting.
The two other guys are different stories. I met them both online and have been talking to each of them for awhile. One of them lives far away, in Pennsylvania, but has friends who live on Long Island and we were/are planning to meet in the not so distant future. We’ve been chatting for weeks and have had a really good rapport, but every once in awhile he just stops communicating for a few days and it’s just disappointing. He’s very guarded about himself and hasn’t even tried to contact me in a few days. I’m not going to contact him again. Ugh!
The third dude I had a really good, friendly relationship with. I’d first met him months ago and we’ve talked intermittently ever since. In recent weeks, our conversations have gotten more often and it seemed like we were really getting to a good place and then bam, he disappeared, profile deleted and not responding to voicemail or text. WTF???
It all just makes me frustrated. Why are these guys so f’ed up? A few months ago, I thought I’d found somebody who I was really compatible with, and we know how that turned out. So I find myself sadly single again and slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things only to find all this crap. I tell ya, I just may want to give it up altogether and join the priesthood. I didn’t even go out last weekend for the first time in a very long time. I think I’m becoming man-phobic!
Grrrrrr!!!!
Between Arnoldo’s situation and these jerks, it’s really no wonder I’m in a bad place. Throw in the fact that there are still 7 more days of school and each day feels like a new mountain to climb. Regents’ exams started today and my poor guys took six and a half hours to do theirs today. My job hunt has stalled…I’ve responded to no less than seven ads for upcoming jobs and haven’t gotten one phone call for an interview. I’m guessing that a recent college grad would come in much cheaper than I, and so I guess saving money trumps experience. I could go on and on, but one of my other frustrations, having so little time, keeps me from continuing.
Anyway, thanks for reading!
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