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As I sit here waiting on Godot, the cat vomits all over my feet. With no job in sight, and no way of getting there. I reflect on women and men I will never know again. They gave everything, to make sure we could make the storms fade from our vision and become the things of myth. Why do others judge when we see their imperfect faces, casting shadows of doubt. They have not always been our lovers, that was for others. The cat now pisses in my shoes, he thinks he was my only pet! Walking into the bar, I heard someone yelling "SOLID DREAMS CAN FILL THIS SOUL GIRL!". I turned around and there he was. There he was staggering down the lanes of a one way street; CHARLIE SHEEN! As I tried to enter the bar he grabbed my jersey. "Why are you going in there when there's a perfectly good alley next door! 

I turned and go with him into a dim lit alley, filled with rats and trash cans. As I asked him why we're here, he kept yelling TIGER BLOOD, TIGER BLOOD!! Then he pulled from a suitcase two bottles of wine: Chardonnay and Merlot, and as we drank from them he said "They all think I'm
crazy, but I'm at Radio City Music Hall tonight". Charlie springs to his feet and rips off two lids from the trash cans. We sit on them as 50 rats run by. He yells "WINNING! WINNING! WINNING! They're fools, they're fools, everything begins again"!! As we throw the empty bottles of wine against the brick wall, Charlie pulls a foot long glass pipe out of his coat. Stuffing it full, he holds up a lighter to it and snap, crackle, pop. He inhales deeply and yells "THERE ARE NO ENDS ONLY BEGINNINGS!!!" This is my Que to get up and head back to the bar...Charlie leaps up and follows me to the end of the alley, were strangers appear and they yell "Yo bro, can we have some of that". Charlie yells "you assholes better get out of our way". Then with one swift kick to the groin, the whole action is over as the remaining two run off into the night. Charlie embraces me and says "have a nice drink" and walks off into the night.
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As I walked into the bar, there was only one seat. So I sat down next to some guy muttering under his breath. "I should of had them all shot; maggots, worms!!!" As the bartender walked over to me I looked in his glazed green eyes. He shouted above the music "what will you have!" Suddenly the guy next to me shouted "He'll have what I'm drinking - TIGERS BLOOD!" He reached into a well worn wallet and pulled out a $100 dollar bill and began shouting "At the end of the day it's about commerce and money! Their trolls! Trolls I tell you! Retarded zombies that say they could treat me! I'am a winner damn it! A winner, winning!" I looked at his face and suddenly I realized and yelled at him "your that guy on one and a half men. Your Charlie Sheen!""I'm the Warlock damn it, and that's Two and a half men you idiot!" he retorted. Sitting there in amazement I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see who it was. There stood Jim Tressel, coach of THE Ohio State football team, decked out in one of the schools football jerseys. "Wanna dance young man?" Without a second thought Charlie jumped to his feet and said "I'll take that proposal" as he grabbed Jim's hand and rushed him to the dance floor. There I sit on my stool dumbfounded at what I had just witnessed. "F*#k!!! What the hell is going on here?" The next thing I know, my nose is being assulted by the heavy scent of cheap perfume. And there she stood, raven haired and boobs the size of New York. I had heard tales but nothing prepared me for what happened next. Scanning her from cheek to cheek, I couldly barely speak, that ass is for real! It was the one, the only Kim K. in the flesh. "HAVE YOU HEARD MY NEW CD?" and with that she lets out a banshee's wail. It shatters my glass of TIGERS BLOOD. Now the bartender is covering his ears as he asks me if the lady would like a drink and I another? Finally she stops and asks me "what do you think?" I replied "I hope you got paid up front!" With that she yelled "you could have had me all night, but you blew it buddy!". She turns and walks away. A sweaty hand again grabs my shoulder. It's Charlie this time. Now what, I think to myself. Charlie begins to quote Laozi..."Dao is the softest thing in the world, but it can overcome the hardest thing in the world." The next thing I hear is Charlie screaming ...."MORE TIGER BLOOD, MORE TIGER BLOOD!!!"
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As I sit here wondering about my life, the screen opens up to people trying to find themselves loving life and knowing that darkness was all that held their fate. A break here or there would have been great, but the gods often laugh at fools. No money no fame! Just another pair of jerks walking down a path that leads to nowhere. We could see the lights on the neon sign, on the road up ahead flashing FOOD& BEER. Then it happened; a naked woman running right pass us into the darkness with a crazy man in hot pursuit, then he stopped and turned on a dime. I said "Charlie, it's you!" He kept screaming "Tiger blood, Tiger blood! Come back here, your a Goddess, your a Goddess!" Then he says to me "Hahn, C. C. Hahn, where did you come form man? Here take this, take this!" and he hands me two benjamins and then runs off into the darkness, still chasing his Goddess. I never told Sally I didn't have two nickels in my pocket. Now thanks to Charlie, I can afford to feed my own Goddess. As Sally and I walked to the diner, I strolled up to the bar and I shouted I'll have two TIGER BLOODS please! The bartender turns and says "you're one of his friends? Look there'll be no Tiger Blood in here tonight unless I see cash, right here, right now!" I pulled a benjamin outa my pocket and slapped it on the counter and I said "Here will this do? Now give me two cheeseburgers delux with that Tiger Blood and make it pronto!" As the bartender pulled back from the counter he yelled " Yes Sir Mr. Benny!" Cold and wet, Sally turned to me and said "your the luckiest man on earth!" I turned to her and looked at those beautiful ruby lips and said "That's cause I got you Babe!" I watched her walk to the juke box and slip in a dollar. The next thing I heard drifting through the air was Knights in White Satin......Then suddenly I heard a voice behind me screaming WINNING...WINNING...it was Charlie with his Goddess draped over his shoulder. He comes to the table and leans in to me, the plump a#s of his Goddess staring me in the face. "So this is what success smells like !!!!"
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