A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle


Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastram on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live. Milton Berle If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle Laughter is an instant vacation. Milton Berle



Read more »

The world in quotes according to Producer, Director, Writer, and Purveyor of all things peculiar, a true abstract genius "John Waters".

“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty."

"To me, bad taste is what entertainment is all about."

"I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal".

"I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it".

"I'm thrilled to have a completely new audience that I can get from Court TV, without it being my own trial. That was the only other way I would have gotten it". 

"Without obsession, life is nothing". 

Read more »

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Jerry Seinfeld

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
Jerry Seinfeld

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
Jerry Seinfeld

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
Jerry Seinfeld

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Jerry Seinfeld

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Jerry Seinfeld

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
Jerry Seinfeld

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
Jerry Seinfeld

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
Jerry Seinfeld

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfeld

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
Jerry Seinfeld

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
Jerry Seinfeld

Read more »

In his sport  he is the greatest performer of his time! A kiss stealing, wheeling, dealing, jet flying, S.O.B!!!! The name is perfect RIC FLAIR!  A sixteen time world champion, his opponents read like a who's who of the wrestling profession;  Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes, Terry Funk, and who could forget his classic matches against the great Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.  Plus an additional cast of characters far too numerous to mention here. 

The one quote attributed to Ric Flair and recognized throughout the Sporting World, from football, baseball to basketball and beyond is "TO BE THE MAN, YOU HAVE TO BEAT THE MAN"!

 Many tried, but few ever did.

           

Ric Flair: To Be the Man (WWE)

Read more »